Reflecting Mercy

What is Mercy? Honestly for a long time I just figured it was forgiving people when they wronged or hurt you. But I have learned mercy is an act of kindness when it is not deserved. I have very much learned in the past month that I am not reflecting Mercy in my life to people. Even family. My husband. I don't get what I want or I am wronged....and I tend to automatically go into this major defense mode when feeling under attack or hurt. It is not easy for me to swallow my pride and show an act of kindness to someone in my life that has repeatedly offended or hurt me. Or maybe it is for some people but in the back of your mind you are still dwelling on their short commings and drowning your heart and mind in judgement. I read a quote from Joyce Meyer ...

"Judgemental thoughts come from a negative mind, a mind that thinks about what is wrong with an individual instead of what is right."

Q: Would this imply that focusing on what is wrong with an individual (friend or foe) does not reflect Mercy?

This quote has pretty much convicted me in every part of my life. I don't show the same mercy to people that God does with me. Maybe I am the only person out there who finds it hard to extend mercy to the ones who repeatedly annoy you, hurt you, ridicule you...persecute you for whatever you lack as a person for them. Expecting you to be something other than human. I find this hard. Does it mean I don't want to do it....My heart longs than nothing else to love God and serve Him and reflect every good and great attribute He posesses. But wanting it and acting it out I feel are two different things. My problem....again I am ONLY speaking for myself, is I am doing so good for awhile, and then there is always someone that hurts you and you blow like a loose canon....maybe not publically but I try to remind myself I may not be merciless to the person's face but God knows every intent of my heart and no one else does. And when I dwell on what is wrong and offensive about individuals and not the good I am not showing Mercy but judgment. ...I am judging the intent of their heart and in the end that is God's job and God's alone.Every person does this and if some told me they don't I would call you a liar....sorry... I have learned expecting anything from anyone and refusing them to have room for error is anything but an act of Mercy and pretty much the complete opposite. Maybe they have wronged you one too many times....but this is it! Mercy stops there. It doesn't for Christ and it shouldn't for us. I don't think people should beat themselves up either for maybe finding it hard to show mercy. We as Christians all fail to live everything we claim is truth and of God. If we were able to live out everything we preach....we would be perfect ....So for those who just find it so hard....you are not alone but don't let ANYONE make you feel you don't deserve to love God and preach the word because at one time you found it hard to forgive or show mercy....just cry out to your Savior to shape and mold your heart to be more like His....ask Him to help you with this. I don't find it anywhere in scripture that says because you love God this all comes easy...

In my own personal experience I think I have lacked in giving mercy because I myself have not accepted God's mercy. I see how humans put up guards when hurt and shut down....I have not always had the best image of myself and don't give myself mercy but chastize myself for whatever I did. And then hear other people rub it in that I am a Christian "How could you do that" "How could you say that" ....I always fall into the trap that I can't serve others in need because I made a mistake or reflected a characterisitc that was not one of Christ's. The next thing you know I am withdrawing and not wanting to give my all to Christ because I didn't live up to what I said. Is it just me or does anyone else find it easier to preach forgiveness than give it. Or Mercy? My all is not good enough to some but it means EVERYTHING to your heavenly Father. It is important to look at how you treat yourself because sometimes you try to give to others what you yourself do not have.If you do not recieve God's love and then love yourself in a balanced way, how can that love flow thru you to anyone else. This is all making so much sense to me but how do you do it. I can't do it in my own strength. When I try I fail miserably. God I guess is the only one who can help me....am I right or wrong. I am not making comments these are all questions and I am seeking to grow and flourish in this area of my life from you who may have conqured this area in your life...Is that possible? If there is any spiritual gift I want it is Mercy to no end.

A really good friend of mine who I honestly find wise in my books told me that only God knows my heart and it's intentions. God knows my desire to serve him. There will be men who will think they know it and judge it to their standards....But God is the author of my heart.....no one else. God doesn't call perfect people to preach His word and reach the lost He calls the obedient. Thank God because I would be useless in the body of Christ otherwise.

Keep your chin up...keep praising the King of Kings.